Last week was… a good one.
No big breakdowns, no terrible stretches of uncontrollable crying, not too much time spent lingering on my mistakes and failures.
I took a major step last Friday towards getting my life back on track. Went to the DMV (which had a surprisingly short wait) and got my driving permit.
I’ll admit that while I was taking the permit test, my heart was racing and I had doubts that I would be able to do it. But once I passed (with only three missed questions) I felt such a relief and such a burden lifted from my shoulders.
Of course that was only to be replaced by the fear of, you know, actually driving a car.
But out of the pan and into the fire I went and immediately went around driving for a bit. I don’t think I was ever more nervous or tense getting into a car, but after the half hour of practice, I felt so good about myself for overcoming one of my fears.
This beat up, annotated manual is one I have had for years. Before it represented all the times that I have tried and failed to overcome my fears, only to succumb to the hardest parts. Now it stands as a symbol for my strength and resilience, as a reminder that yes, I can grit my teeth and overcome my fears and do the hard thing.
I’m hoping to remember that and remember the feeling of accomplishment I had on Friday afternoon to push myself further every day to do better and work harder.
This is my third Depression Report. And things are looking good.